a mess

today is really a sucky day.
everything is in a mess.
problems that i can forsee and i can't do much to it.
why?
rough patch in life.
hell weeks.
to think that i was still trying to pyscho myself to be optimistic from morning.
at the end of the day, is still a big mess.
i need assurance and comfort.
but all i can do while showering is to cry;
waiting for hair to dry, is to rant here and just tear again.
standing there at the bus stop for 45mins, letting the heavy rain hit me.
all drenched and anxious.
yea, i know to the rest is just a small matter.
why make a fuss out of it?
so i decided to just f*shut up and end my entry here.
sorry i am just wondering y my life turns out this way.
i am already trying my best to make my life much happier by being more positive.
i am putting efforts to make things happen.
but everything just seems wrong.
i need to go pray.