Holidays ending soon...

2 more weeks to sch starts again! how i hate it...time always pass so swiftly that i pondered over what i have really done during the near 3 months of holidays... though i wasted my time slacking and doing nothing useful for some days or slept for 15 hrs on some other days or watch vcds continously or play viwawa for a whole day...still i never regret all these times i spent on doing unproductive activities (sleeping, slacking and stoning)..it just free my mind and divert my attention from my fyp.. i just feel stress over that but reluctant to give really deep thoughts to it..ESCAPE from reality is the word to describe my present scenario..i go out and shop and play mahjong with friends, work till late at night and tire myself out..but i just felt empty and spaced out. Where's my motivation to work and to set goals in my life? i felt laidback and sloppish..refusing to use my mind to think as it makes me feel tired and headaches..i need to exercise and eat more healthy food but plain laziness stops me as i feel my once flat tummy expanding and my once shapely legs rounding up fats...OK, i NEED to exercise for goodness sake!!!!!!!! i want to play mahjong because i do not want to be diagnose with advance dementia. i hate playing viwawa but in reality i can't find mj khakis as and when i like...i want to dress up to the nines and have fun out with friends, i want to chit-chat and collapse in fits of laughters! i want to dance in club and sway my hips to the beats and i want to sing K as crazily as possible like a diva. i want to go library and read all the novels be it adventure, action, thriller or romance and be touched by the stories...how i wish...but can i do it all alone by myself? friends aren;t that available and i don't have much close knit friends to ask anyway..sadly that's the truth..blame it on my unsociable character or rather introvert mindset when it comes to seeking close friends. whatever it is, i guess the lonely night makes me feeling a tad emo but tomorrow is a new day again and somehow i felt today i was wasting my time again..i seriously need some excitement in my life...